The Most Perfect of Blues

It's been three years today that my mother passed away. You'd think the feelings of loss and devastation would diminish year after year, but it doesn't get any easier to bear. Mom touched so many lives in such a huge way. Somebody always has a story to tell about her generous heart and her humble nature.

Mom died on a glorious morning. The sun was intense as it shone through the window of her little hospital room. As I sat at her bedside, holding her and cherishing each last moment I had with her, I told her that God gave her the most beautiful of blue skies for her "going home" day. It was the most perfect of blues ... the color of her eyes, the color she chose to decorate her room with at home in her last year, the color of the round pillow she clutched at her side the last days here on earth. Blue was Mom's favorite color.

I still have that pillow. I sleep with it every night. My kids know it's "Grandma's Pillow." When they are sad or feeling sick, they seek it out. It used to lay by Brandon's feet in the first few fragile months of his life. Although he never knew Mom here on earth, he has a connection to her that is beyond words. That little pillow was by my side through chemo and radiation. Sometimes I rest my hand on it, and for just a fleeting moment I see my mother's hand resting there. It's not sadness, but love that I feel.

Today is just another day for so many people, but for me, it's one day closer to seeing Mom again in heaven. I love you, Mom.

Until Tomorrow,
Kathy