"Everything Will Be OK"

It seems lately everybody tells me "Everything will be OK. I just know it." I understand it's meant well, but do you really know it? Why do we say things like that (as I am just as guilty) when we don't know what God's plan is? Is it just a way to make yourself feel better in an uncomfortable or scary situation? Who are you lying to? Well, sometimes things aren't always going to be OK. Sometimes God throws us a curve ball that we can see coming but we pretend it away with false statements of assurance and hope. Today I took that ball smack in the face.



I found out today that my cancer has spread into my lymphatic system. It is an aggressive cancer. My prognosis is grim ... there is a 12-20% chance that I will be alive 5 years from now. For those who understand staging ... my cancer is a Stage III / Grade III. Everything is not OK.



Now please don't get me wrong ... I still have hope. I won't go quietly. In two weeks I am going to a specialist who will give his opinion on my course of action. I already know that I will be playing the chemo/radiation game ... I just don't know in what combination. I know that radiation will take place everyday. I know chemo will come intermittently during radiation. I also know I will be hospitalized for internal radiation as well. Other than that, I don't know anything other than everything is not OK.



I love you all and thank those who have given me words of encouragement and support these last few months. I love you for understanding my need for privacy and also for being there for me when I need to talk. Your friendship is priceless. Your prayers have made all the difference. Thank you for caring for me.



Until later,
Kathy