You Know You are a Large Family When ...

I knew as a very young child that someday I would have a large family. I didn't care if it was by birth, adoption or simply because my home was "the house" that kids hung out at (as was my parents' home!) After school and working in the professional world I decided that Mr. Right wasn't going to show face and I was ready to start that large family I'd always dreamt of having. Following in my parents' footsteps I became licensed to foster children in need through the State of Missouri's Division of Family Services. Over the years I fostered 44 children. I loved every single one of them, but 5 of them got to stay! Now you know them as Anita, Nathan, Isaac, Alyssa and Brandon. This month marks 3 years since my final adoption and my entrance into the world without caseworkers, guardian ad litems, CASA's etc. We became a family on National Adoption Day with the adoption of Alyssa Rhea and Brandon Isaiah into our family. Just a handful of months later I was diagnosed with Stage III Grade C3 endometrial cancer. I often think back and wonder if I would have continued fostering and quite possibly adding to my family had I not received the news that tore our perfect little world apart. I still tell myself that our family is complete, just as God intended it to be, but there's a little voice inside of me that admits had I not been so gravely ill, I would have continued to foster children who needed me. I still see a future where I will continue to work with children in the system, even if I can't be their foster momma or adoptive momma. God has a use for me, I'm sure of that.

Anyway, I was always fascinated by families that were larger than the normal 2-kids-and-a-dog-type family. I befriended some wonderful families in online forums, many whom I still call good friends today! We all shared stories about how we made our big families work well. We laughed at our similar stories. We all have had the grocery store moment when, as we are pushing 2 carts through the store, stacked to overflowing, a curious passerby asks, "Are they ALL yours? Boy, you sure have your hands full!" Being a part of a large family provides a very unique perspective on life. Today I came across a list posted by a fellow larger-than-the-norm-family mother, that spells it all out for those who don't understand how we can make it work. I thought I'd share it with you!

BTW, before the list I just want to make you all aware that November is National Adoption Month. There are literally THOUSANDS of children who are waiting to be adopted in the United States. If you've ever considered adopting, please give me a call or send me an email. I'll gladly share what I know with you, and hopefully will be able to direct you to the proper resources in your city/county/state. If adoption isn't something you are prepared to do, consider serving as a mentor or advocate for a child in care. My children are just like all of those waiting children. They were once waiting too.

And now, for the list!

You Know You are a large family When...


1. You automatically double knot your own shoelaces.

2. Your husband losing his job isn't the worst thing that happened to you today.

3. Every car that moves slowly past your house is a possible DCF visit.

4. You tell your family that you will ONLY cut 4 heads of hair per day.

5. You have a 28 foot kitchen, two freezers, and you STILL don't have enough room for a week's worth of food.

6. Missing trash/garbage/recycling day means BIG TROUBLE when you only have 5 garbage cans..

7. When you go out to eat and gratuity is added to your bill.

8. When it is cheaper to buy a years family membership (ex. zoo) then to buy tickets for the day.

9. When the ER doctors say, "Weren't you just in here last week?"

10. You have 3 kindergartners and none of them are the same race.

11. A stranger tries to report you for not having enough teachers for the amount of students on your "field trip" when you go to the grocery store.

12. When your kids all have a bug...the bus driver gets the day off.

13. The dentist has to open on his day off just to see your kids.

14. You get the strangest look when you ask the furniture salesman if the dining table you like comes in a 14 ft model.

15.The sign on your front porch reads: "Forget the dog: beware of the children!"

16. - Your family requires multiple pews to "sit together" at church, and when you're not there, attendance drops by 10%.

17 - The local schools call you to ask for your grocery receipts (so that they can buy equipment with the points from the grocery chain).

18- You get everyone's hand-me-downs, because they're "sure one of your kids can wear it"!

19- You buy all sizes at a good clearance sale, because if somebody can't wear it now you can always save it for next year.

20 - The church nursery calls ahead to see if you're going to be there for a special event, so they can be sure they have enough child care workers.

21 - You're thrilled to see a big bag of mis-matched fruit for 99 cents.

22 - You buy the 50 lb. box of potatoes and the 10 gallon bucket of laundry soap at the wholesale club, and then breathe a sigh of relief because you're set for the month!

23 - A trip to McDonald's costs $50!

24 - You notice an empty spot in the house and think, "You know, we could probably add another bedroom there"!

25 - You fill out the school registration forms once, copy them, and then insert the name of each child. Otherwise, you'd be writing for days!

26. Your spouse buys you over sized cookware for valentines day and your thrilled.

27. When you go to the store and buy 6 gallons of milk every other day.

28. When your van becomes the mobile donation bin.

29. When your kids don't do school fund raisers because we don't know enough people for all the kids to sell to.

30. When the school calls and asks if you would be willing to drive for a field trip because your van can hold the whole 2nd grade.

31. When you don't have to invite any kids to a birthday party to have enough kids for a party (of course we still invite friends but boy, what a crowd.)

32. When you go out to eat and the waitress brings a whole stack of napkins before you ask for extras.

33. When you go to buy groceries and they think you're having a huge party.

34. You know the grocery clerks all by first names, know the names of their spouses and children's birthdays.

35. Your pharmacy bill, covered by Medicaid pays 1/2 the staff wages at your pharmacy. (Our's is well over $6,000 a month).

36. Saying night time prayers takes an hour or more.

37. When you need a commercial drivers license to drive your children to church.

38. When your school schedules a extra day for parent teacher conferences just for YOUR family.

39. When your lawyer knows YOUR phone number by heart, and the birth dates of all your children.

40. When DCFS has an entire four drawer filing cabinet just for you.

41. When half the UPS truck is full of YOUR medical supplies and he knows all the children's names and birthdays and they want to call him 'Uncle Stan'.

42. When you walk into Chuckarama and the manager flees in terror.

43. When your local 'kids eat free' restaurant has a lighted neon sign that says "not (Insert your family name here).

44. When your neighbors come over to borrow food from you, because you have a better selection than the Seven Eleven.

45. When your local butcher is disappointed when you only order half a cow.

46.When the huge pot you used to cook in fed the family for many meals and now you are lucky to get one meal out of it that feeds everyone.

47.When you haul your garbage to the dump by the horse trailer full.

48.When the only cans of veggies you buy come in #10 size only and they have a limited selection of the varieties and you complain to the store clerk.

49. When you think of your 30 qt roaster as a crock pot.

50.When you attend potlucks at church and MOST of the food is brought by your family.

51. When you buy your beans, flour, rice, oat meal, farina, sugar, and powdered milk, etc in 50 # bags.

52. When you tell the butcher to not to wrap up your meat in less than 10 to 15 pound packages. When the family size package of meat at the super market is not enough to feed yours.

53. When you have TWO entire kitchen cabinets devoted to medications, bandages, cough and cold meds, and a nebulizer, (we have 2 nebulizers).

54. When you regularly trip on braces (afo's) and crutches strewn about the floor.

55. When you have to move an empty wheelchair to use the stove.

56. You need special tools to open the 5 gal. bucket of laundry detergent.

57.Your small run-about car is a mini van and many times it's too small.

58. When people see your garden and ask, "Oh are you a tailgate farmer?"

59. your grandchildren are older than some of your other kids and you have nieces and nephews older than the aunts and uncles in the same elementary school together.

60. you buy the smallest size school pictures because you can scan them at Walmart and get a much better deal?

61. when you store your sugar, flour, salt beans, rice and other staples in 15 gallon Tupper wares under the prep table, and you store your spices in 1 gallon jars because you buy and use it in bulk.

62.The school district decides to send a teacher over -- it's cheaper than transporting the group.

63.Doctors block out an entire day for your kids physicals.

64.Therapist (doctors, schools) ask for a picture ID of each kid to tell them apart.

65.Specialist (neurologist, etc.) ask you to bring one child per day because they are feeling overwhelmed!

66.You didn't know that Cherrios came in a box smaller than 40 oz.

67.Gerber's, Pamper's, etc. refuse to believe you are still sending in coupons after all these years.

Until Tomorrow,
Kathy ... one mom, blessed 44 times over, and granted the miracle of adoption 5 times!