What is Your Resolution?

I don't like New Year's resolutions. I always end up letting myself down. But this year is different. Last year was fraught with hospital stays, sickness, and the fear of dying before I made it to my 38th birthday. This year I am making a promise to myself to take care of my body, to do what makes me happy and to live my life in a way that when I do die, I will have made a difference.

For so many years I felt like I was making a difference fostering children who needed me, and helping their families get their lives back on track. When I stopped fostering after the adoption of Allie and Brandon there was an emptiness that has really bothered me. Although I don't miss the bureaucratic stuff one bit, I do miss cradling a newborn who is going through withdrawal because of his mother's crack habit, or rocking a scared 4 year old to sleep while she misses her mommy. I miss hugging their parents and telling them that I have faith in them. This was, and I still believe is, my calling.

So, how do I make a difference? I don't think fostering again is where I belong. My kids need permanency, and having caseworkers, therapists, children and families in and out of our home gets too difficult. If i had a million dollars I'd buy a bigger house and give more children a permanent home ... but unless I start playing the lottery, or a benevolent soul seeks me out, that isn't a realistic possibility. I honestly don't know what to do. So, this year I will concentrate on finding a way to help these children and their families. That is my resolution.

So, what is your resolution?

Until Tomorrow,
Kathy